If I were seven
feet twelve inches with three breasts, an upside-down green beak, with thirty
finger, one leg with a left pointing knee cap, and eyes in my ear would you
still talk to me? These are the kinds of questions I usually ask my friends.
They responses are mainly a unanimous “what the f**k?” followed by a hasty “NO!!”
I like to issue these tests, of sorts, to them to see how deep our bonds of
friendship lie. Is my personality that of a rock stars? Would you be able to
see through my grotesque appearance and still love me? Well, I can tell you
with certainty that they cannot. My friends try to explain to me that they
would never know my personality because with looks like that they would never
talk to me in the first place. I usually feint tears and ask them if it’s
really true that they would let a poor soul suffer a life of solitude and those
horrible people always respond with “hell yeah” as if any possibility is
absurd. So I ask all of you, would you talk to me anyway?
- Barbie Girl
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